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Old 12-24-2007, 12:50 PM   #1
Dick Cheney
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Default The Reason for the Season

Hello,

I think it is time, in this era of troubles and terrorism, that we take a moment to remember those events that have shaped the world and brought billions of people peace and good tidings. Let me share with you a tale of joy and wonder that all those in the western world know by heart. No matter your creed, it is a beautiful story: The birth of our savior.

From the Gospel of Luke -

1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from some evil Democrat that all the world should be taxed.

2 For the Democrats love to tax and spend.

3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

4 And George also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David

5 To be taxed with Barbara his espoused wife, being great with child. And the child was to be taxed as well, for Democrats will murder unborn children and tax them too.

6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

8 For the tax rate in the city was too high and it was holding back proper investment by the private sector.

9 And for this and many other conservitive reasons God begot his first born son unto the holy Republican Party

10 And there were in the some country named Iraq shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

11 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of Dallas your Saviour, which is George W Bush.

12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 Glory to God in the highest, and there are WMDs in Iraq, and Bush will bring you pease and everlasting democracy.

15 And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Blackwater, and greet the liberator of Iraq.

16 And they came with haste, and found Barbara, and George, and the babe lying in a Motel 6.

17 And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.

18 And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds, who sounding like they had been hitting the hookah.

19 But Barbara kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart, much like how in her heart she would feel that being made homeless by a hurricane and being forced to live in the Superdome would be an improvement for black people in New Orleans.

20 And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising W. for all the things that they had heard and seen, as they waited for him to bring the mission accomplished.

21 And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the child,
although such a feat was impossible given the size of his manhood at even such a young age, his name was called George W Bush, which was so named because the father couldn't think of anything that could top it... except maybe Jeb.

Luke 2: 1-21 KJ-JAA Bible (king james, john Ashcroft authorized version bible)
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Old 12-24-2007, 12:58 PM   #2
rewboss
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Default Re: The Reason for the Season

And from Matthew's Gospel, chapter 2:

1 Now when George was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem,

2 Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Americans? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.

3 And lo, they were detained on suspicion of offences against the Patriot Act, and their gifts destroyed in a controlled explosion.
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