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Old 08-13-2015, 04:34 AM   #1
fahfooh
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Default Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

As some of you know, my days are numbered. I know I don't post here like I used to (due mainly to sobriety and an ever-increasing awareness of just how silly/stupid/offensive/fooh-banned my threads were and can be), but I did for for years and quite enjoyed it when I wasn't creating my own little dramas. For those who don't know, it goes like this: aggressive prostate cancer discovered too late, which spread to hips & pelvis and then into bone marrow and then a blizzard of fluffy little white smudges appearing all over my last bone scan. I'm more sorry than you, so please, none of that. All is well on my end and I consider myself lucky to have time left for family, which is roughly a year - or so the Germans would have us believe.

That said, I'm still Ken Altman. My day is not complete if I can't find a smile in someone. My family & my kids are well used to this, and we have indeed had quite a few laughs about the whole situation. There are serious moments, but I cannot stand it and will be a jerk just to get a laugh.

So that's it. Like it or not, I'm leaving this here... hopefully you will grin and remember the good times when nothing was off limits and maybe I wasn't a dork once in a while. Smartass comments welcome

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What happens later today may be one of the strangest experiences of my life; a visit from a (presumably) nice lady with Holland House to discuss future hospice care. I am going to try to keep a straight face and refrain from cracking wise every other minute. But it will be difficult because I have so many unrealistic demands stirring around in my head. Each one makes me smile inside.

But knowing nothing of hospice, I don't even know if they take requests - much less demands. I picture a frightening scenario where my first (very amusing) demand is met with a stony glare as she picks at her teeth with a silver toothpick (spinach salad for lunch, probably) and my smugness falters, so easily caught, slain & wrapped into a tortilla to be devoured. Peering at me over her horn-rims. No, I must be careful. Do I offer her a mint?

I suppose I can forget the whole jokey routine and play it straight. Maybe show her how I can wiggle my eyes and gleek. That would impress her for sure. Putty in my hands!

I hope she doesn't fall in love with me, poor thing.
I don't know how much more I'll post here, because my family is on FB and my free time is spent in another worthwhile capacity. But the years spent here were certainly a huge part of my online history, and most of you all a part of that. Thanks.

I just wish I could remember how I found this place to begin with
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Old 08-13-2015, 08:10 AM   #2
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

God bless you, Fooh. I've always been a "fringe" poster on here, only showing up every once in a while. But I remember the funny/crazy threads on the Peach Pit years ago......and possibly a live chat/webcam thing that was kinda weird. You were always in the middle of the hijinx!
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Old 08-13-2015, 02:16 PM   #3
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

Yeah the Peach Pit... haven't thought about that one in a while! I wonder how Tangy's doin' these days.
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Old 08-13-2015, 05:28 PM   #4
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

Fuck you man, you're not goin anywhere you crazy bastard.
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Old 08-13-2015, 08:13 PM   #5
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.



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Old 08-13-2015, 11:17 PM   #6
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

I ran off my deck with bare feet and stepped on a rusty pipe. I had to get a tetanus shot.

Ok, it's not terminal cancer but still. A tetanus shot. Ouch.
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Old 08-13-2015, 11:32 PM   #7
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

I feel ya man. I had the UTI to beat all UTI's in Oct (on my sister's BD in fact)... I kid you not, I was in the bathroom for over FOUR HOURS pounding the walls yelling like a maniac before I agreed to go to the hospital.

And THEN they placed the catheter in... little babies don't scream that loud.
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Old 08-14-2015, 12:24 AM   #8
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

All kidding aside, sucks to be you lately.
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Old 08-14-2015, 01:24 AM   #9
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

This may well be the WORST thread you have ever posted. And since you are the one who introduced us to Timmy in a box and also the bleach lady... that's saying something.

Jerk.
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Old 08-14-2015, 06:57 AM   #10
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

Uh oh. Errmmm. Timmy in a box? I have NO recollection of that one; Bleach Lady I do

And I'm not a jerk! I'm a... a... okay. Let me think about that one.

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Old 08-14-2015, 07:00 AM   #11
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bango Skank View Post
All kidding aside, sucks to be you lately.


Actually, not so much! It's all in how ya look at it. I'm fine, seriously
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Old 08-14-2015, 02:43 PM   #12
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

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Uh oh. Errmmm. Timmy in a box? I have NO recollection of that one
It was even worse than the bleach lady. The thread title is "Where's the fucking Alka Seltzer, Timmy?" Little boy trapped in a rubbermaid type bin if I remember correctly.

WARNING TO BSers WHO HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE: DO NOT GO LOOKING FOR THIS THREAD. JUST. DON'T.
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Old 08-14-2015, 03:52 PM   #13
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

lol... Alka Seltzer. Okay I remember. Yeah, I'd avoid that.
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Old 08-14-2015, 04:22 PM   #14
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

Why don't I listen to warnings? Why?

WHY?
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Old 08-14-2015, 10:49 PM   #15
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

And I capitalized and bolded and italicized too! But nooooo....

(Eventually I learned not to open anything fooh posted in the adult lounge. Ever.)
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Old 08-15-2015, 03:35 PM   #16
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

Dude, wtf? I didn't give you permission for this!
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Old 08-16-2015, 02:32 AM   #17
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

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Dude, wtf? I didn't give you permission for this!
YOU KNEW I WAS A REBEL!!!
(I speak as if I'm simply refusing to follow some current trend I find annoying)


Plus side, I'm the first kid on my block whose skeleton looks like it's been brushed with butter & sprinkled with freshly grated parmesan, and there's no denying the appeal in THAT. I step out into the sun for 12 minutes and people have no idea why they suddenly crave lasagna.


Yep Oz warned you, Bango!! Here, have a plate...
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Old 08-16-2015, 07:44 PM   #18
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

This is all Candy's fault.

Don't forget to click the thumbnail.
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Old 08-16-2015, 08:18 PM   #19
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

Fucking a man... wow.
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Old 08-16-2015, 08:39 PM   #20
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

Took some digging to find that.
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Old 08-17-2015, 09:30 AM   #21
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

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Old 08-18-2015, 01:43 PM   #22
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

It became so ingrained not to open your threads in the Adult Lounge, that I almost didn't open this one....

I'm not so sure I'm glad I did, but I think your attitude is amazeballs!



(and I never use words like amazeballs --- should it be hyphenated? )
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Old 08-20-2015, 11:47 PM   #23
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

Sorry to hear fooh, but I think your outlook is the best for you and your family. I do wish you as much peace as you seek.
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Old 08-21-2015, 02:50 PM   #24
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

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Sorry to hear fooh, but I think your outlook is the best for you and your family. I do wish you as much peace as you seek.
Ditto. Best wishes to you always.
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Old 08-23-2015, 12:24 AM   #25
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Default Re: Posted this to FB & thought I'd share, because I'm so generous.

I keep coming back to this thread and can't come up with anything but to say that I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. I'm glad you've made peace with it and only wish you well.
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