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Old 03-04-2007, 08:26 PM   #1
Rick Santorum
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Default BSers - Even You Gay or Liberal Hellbound Ones

Hi. I am Rick Santorum. I was doing some gardening the other day when Jesus Christ appeared to me and said that I must minister to the flock. I asked him, I said, "Lord, how am I to reach the holy people of this land?" Then I had a vision of Bill O'Reilly and I knew what I must do. I decided to join Fox News, Allah be praised.

And when I say Allah, I mean God, you Godless A-rabs.

In any event, I invite the conservitives on this board who have reached the proper level of contributions to the Republican Party be able to get into Heaven to watch me on the divine channel of news, Fox News Channel. I shall join the crusade against immoral things such as free thought, putting logic before prayer, and questioning the fact that there were ever WMDs in Iraq. We all know there were there, but a bunch of liberal soldiers found them and hid them in the name of John Kerry and Satan.

I also plan to fight commercials for Viagra. We all know that only liberals with all their pot smoking and caring about poor people have trouble with their erections.

Anyway, I have posted here before. I know there are a few good people here. Thus, I am inviting them to watch me on Fox.

And for you homosexual loving, oral sex giving, single parenting, pre-marital sex having, wanting rights for people other than Anglo-Saxon White Protestants liberal bastards here, I extend an invite to watch me as well. Your political soul may yet be saved.
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